Getting Groceries
by longlostwriter
Summary: Human AU, DenNor fluff. Saturday is their day to go grocery shopping, but it never goes according to plan. This is just one of those days. Just a little one-shot!


Lukas is an organized, well-planned man. Mathias is not.

Learning how to live together and balance their schedules was probably the hardest thing Lukas has ever done. The Norwegian plans out his week, and knows what needs to be done and when. The Dane runs amok, disregarding the idea of a "work week", wearing a watch with no hands. It was infuriating.

Lukas had many names for his boyfriend, depending on his mood. Usually it was "Dane", or "idiot", or a very colorful "_rumpehull_". Lately, his new name had been "No Mathias". As in, '_No, Mathias, get down from the roof_', '_No, Mathias, you can't baptize the neighbor's cat_', or '_No, Mathias, I will not buy you the sugary cereal_'. Lukas had become very patient with the Dane, helping him adjust to the adult world and holding his hand every step of the way. In some ways, it was endearing. In other ways, it was exhausting.

Lukas had managed to ease No Mathias into an easy schedule that even a two year old could follow. Rotating chores every other week, alternating who cooks every second day, and running errands on Saturdays. Sundays were used for relaxation and, _ahem_… other things.

Today was a Saturday. Lukas wanted to be at the supermarket before noon, before all the families of screaming kids showed up, waving their coupons. Mathias was taking his sweet time getting ready, spending an incomprehensible amount of time on his hair. Lukas was standing by the door with his arms crossed, one foot tapping impatiently.

"Mathias!" he called, checking his watch. 11:22. "Can we please get moving?"

Mathias sauntered out of the bathroom, his soft hair pushed up in an obnoxious style that defied gravity. Lukas rolled his eyes.

"All right!" the Dane called, clapping his hands and rubbing them together excitedly. "Where to?"

Lukas grit his teeth. "The grocery store."

"Which one?" Mathias asked, pulling the car keys out of his pocket.

"The same one we go to _every week_."

Mathias barked with laughter at the sight of Lukas's wild eyes. "Just checking," he teased with a quick wink. "Let's go then!"

Lukas grumbled under his breath as the pair got into the car. He wasn't particularly fond of driving, so Mathias took the wheel. This was equally exhilarating and terrifying, but it was a lot better than needing to worry about driving himself.

The engine of their little Audi roared to life, and Mathias purred alongside it. He gave the shift stick a quick stroke – much to Lukas' annoyance – before putting it into reverse and pulling out of the driveway.

Luckily, the Scandinavian couple didn't live far from the supermarket. A quick ten-minute drive through reasonable traffic had brought them to the parking lot, which was crawling with agitated shoppers. Lukas checked his watch again. 11:35.

"We're doing well for time," he said lightly, peering out the window at a woman trying to calm her fighting child. "But we'll need to shop fast before this gets any worse."

"Sure, sure," Mathias replied, scanning the parking lot for an empty space. "Ah-ha! I see my target."

Lukas followed Mathias' gaze to a tiny parking space, right beside the handicapped parking and an obnoxiously large pickup truck. Lukas turned his doubtful eyes to Mathias, who was looking questioningly at the tiny opening.

"No, Mathias." Lukas said curtly. "Park further back."

"I could try to back it in?"

"No. I'll walk."

"Ugh, you're no fun," Mathias grumbled as he began his slow drive towards the end of the parking lot.

The Norwegian was absent-mindedly checking his fingernails while Mathias searched for a spot to park. He suddenly felt the car jerk, and looked outside the windshield in bewilderment. They were at the back of the parking lot, all right. _Waaaay back_. Nearly at the end of the lot. Lukas gave Mathias an angered stare.

"Not _this_ far back, you idiot!"

"Shhhh!" the Dane urged, holding up a finger to Lukas' lips. He swats it away.

"There are seagulls over there," he said, pointing to where a small flock of birds trotted across the pavement, searching for scraps of abandoned groceries.

"Are you serious?"

"C'mon, let's try to catch them."

"I am _not _chasing a pack of birds," Lukas sniffed. "Just park the car so we can get moving."

"You don't have to chase them," Mathias said, shifting gears. "I will."

The car suddenly lurched forward, pressing Lukas into his seat. Mathias steered the car towards the birds, sending them squawking and flying in all directions. Mathias nearly shrieked with laughter, and put the car in reverse to attack them again.

"For God's sake, Mathias," Lukas swore, covering his eyes.

"Just once more," Mathias pleaded, not waiting for an answer. The car raced forward again, and Lukas could hear the startled cries of the birds as they scrambled out of the way. He waited patiently for another few minutes as the car backed up and sped forward, over and over again. Mathias became quickly bored of the game as he drove away from the birds and into an open parking space. When Lukas heard the engine cut, he pulled his hands from his eyes and turned to glare at Mathias.

The Dane wore a sloppy grin, searching Lukas' face for any sign of shared excitement. There was none.

"You are the _worst_ kind of person," the Norwegian glared.

"But you still love me," Mathias replied, pursing his lips while leaning towards Lukas.

"Ugh." Lukas grumbled in annoyance before giving his boyfriend a quick peck. "There, you happy?"

"Very," his eyes sparkled as he hopped out of the car. "The only thing that would make it better is if we got Cocoa Puffs."

"No, Mathias."


End file.
